I'm a psychologist who dated many toxic people until I finally realized I was the problem. Here's what I did about it.

 

• Even though I'm a psychologist, I kept find myself in toxic relationships.
• I realized I was the problem; I was attracted to toxic traits because of my childhood. 
• I've begun my healing journey to find more stable relationships.

I recently found myself in yet another painful relationship with someone with unprocessed trauma and a reactive personality. They had several toxic traits: lying, fighting, and inability to commit.

Time and time again, I felt defeated, hurt, and ready to swear off relationships.

I would spend countless hours with friends, wallowing in yet another failed connection or chastising myself for staying too long with someone who lacked basic relationship skills or emotional intelligence. And, of course, my friends would sweetly enable me by reinforcing my perspective as I continued to say that everyone else was "the problem.

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